This is their Trial

At Primary's this week I got to hold a little baby. We got a call in the playroom there was a baby that needed to be held. I was the first one to volunteer (the week before I took a call that a baby needed to be held but I was the only one in there so I couldn't and I was pretty disappointed.) The nurse that called sounded like she just needed a break so I was more then willing to go. So when they called on Tuesday I was like I am not going to miss out on this again. I was given the room number having no idea where to go besides the 4th floor I got lost...... but I was so excited I didn't even care. When I walked into the room I looked at the baby he just laid there hooked up to all sorts of machines and crying. My instinct was to pick him up but I didn't know how to go about it because of all of the tubes he had connected to him. I got a nurse to help me get him out of bed. At first I was nervous to hold him because I was afraid I would bump one of the tubes and mess things up so I held him very uncomfortably (I think he could sense the tension I was feeling and he got upset.) I rocked him for a few mins and he fell asleep. As I was sitting there rocking him it made me think of the countless hours I spent in Ecuador with the wee little babies. He woke up and looked at me with his dark brown eyes and I just wanted to spend hours with him. He was so lonely he has been in the hospital since he was born 7 months ago. The crazy thing is that he is a tripulet, when they were born he was the healthiest and then a few weeks later he got a stomach problem and had to get part of his intestines taken out. So he has spent his entire life in the hospital I am pretty sure I am going to get to spend more time with this little guy and I have nothing to complain about I could hold him for my entire shift and be fine with it. So to say in the least this week was a lot better and I am so glad about that! I got to spend an hour and a half holding him, he kept falling in and out of sleep when he would wake up I would just make funny faces at him to get him to smile but he wouldn't. It kind of made me sad to think that at 7 months he doesn't have anything to smile about since he has been so sick. When the nurse came back she was like, "Thank you so much I needed a break I have been working for 11 hours and I just needed a break from a crying baby." I don't blame her. I remember there were times in Ecuador when I would be so tired at night shift and having six babies all crying at the same time. I just felt like I needed a break seriously what I wouldn't give to be there again. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about those kids and how much I truly miss and love them!

Kids truly do have a light about them that others can gain from. Seeing the way the kids I have played with act are like any other kid they just want to have fun and not worry about being sick anymore. The illnesses these kids face are their trials and some might not overcome them and it makes me so sad. I know that I can learn alot from these kids they just have a zest for life and want to feel better. Being in the hospital makes me so grateful for my own health I mean sure I get tired easy and have allergies but I know the kids at the hospital would take that over what they are going through any day!

A little update

What I have been up to lately is: I am working full time and volunteering at Primary Children's. This week will be my third week at Primary's. It has started out pretty rough my first week I went and I was the only volunteer that showed up the lady that was there was just filling in for the lady that is normally there so she didn't know what I was supposed to do. When I left I was pretty frustrated because I like people to explain things to me like what I am supposed to do and where I am supposed to go and none of this happened. They just expect you know what to do and this definately not the case! Then my second week I was left in the playroom by myself for three hours, keep in mind I don't know what I am supposed to be doing. Luckily I worked at treehouse so I still remember some art projects we did there and that is what I did the entire time. By the time I left I was covered in glue, glitter, and paint but I left with a smile on my face. The kids I was playing with got to forget about how sick they are and lose themselves in painting the sun and things they like to do when they aren't in the hospital. This is one of the main reasons I decided to do this I love to bring a smile to kids face that is struggling. 

Life has been interesting since I got home with the loss of my cousins, Tori's brother in law passing away, to someone wanting me to put everything on the line and move away from everything I have ever know to see if we had a chance at the thing called Love.....I obviously didn't choose the choice he wanted me to choose. Tori's belly continues to get bigger and bigger I am getting so excited for little Sadie to grace us with her presence. It is crazy how you can have love for someone that you haven't even met before. I am also looking forward to Katelin coming home in August I just want her to come home already. Every year when my birthday comes around I think about how fast time goes. I can't believe it has been a year since Jace and I went skydiving on my 21 st birthday. It seems just like yesterday when I was floating in the air wondering why my ears hurt so bad and later figuring out I had a sinus infection. Oh wait a year later and once again I have a sinus infection I have had since Feb! I have also been thinking about going back to school to get a master's. I have had a nice break from school for a year and feel like I am not ready to start working full time or maybe I will just travel more since I now have the time. I am excited to see how my life will be like a year from now.